To Dear.....

虽然不知道我在她心目中的地位,
但她现在在我心目中是很重要的,
没了她我会觉得不自在,
没了她我会觉得底落,
除了家人外,接下来就是她了.....
我这次真的付出真爱.....

我要疼爱她,
我要珍惜她,
我要爱着她,
我要保护她,
我要陪着她.

虽然我不是很会讲甜言蜜语,
当她心情低落时候,
我会学习来哄她开心.

虽然我不是很会安慰人,
当她有伤心低落时候,
我会学习安慰她.

我告诉她无论开心或伤心都得让我知道,
与我分担她的快乐与不快乐.
我无时无刻都在关心她,
也无时无刻都在想念她.

Dear,我爱你!!! Love You Forever!!!

人生新的一段路程

经过很多波折,
我们终于开始了.....
很多人如果知道是谁了会很惊讶吧.
这是我人生里新的一段路程,
接下来的路要如何走,那得看我的造化.

一直以来,我没有抱着很大的希望来追求她,
还记得她第一次拒绝我的时候告诉我的一切,
所以我一直相信我的机会是如此的微小.

第二次的表白虽然用了暗示,
聪明的她还是看得出来....
最后也给她拒绝了我.

曾经想过放弃的我,
告诉自己,
人家有了心上人了,为什么还是执迷不悟.
我想放弃但我做不到,
因为我是有感情的,
一旦我真的喜欢她,
我会追求她,
直到她让我知道彻底死心吧.

记得那天,
凌晨时分,我觉得无聊....
到facebook看看,
看到她的profile,
让我想起我们两人一起出去,
虽然不算是个约会,
但我们还开心的.
我也想到一些我和她的点点滴滴.
不开心时,我只想告诉她....
这一切一切让我眼泪不断流了下来.

有时她对我冷淡,弄到我情绪低落.....
有时她对我关心,弄到我不知所措.....

我终于向她表白第三次,
那时我的心情已经觉得应该是没有机会的,
然而她告诉我她对我的感情时强时弱,
可能觉得没有安全感吧.
后来跑回KL与她见面,对她坦白一切后,
最后,她真的接受我了.....

我会好好对待她,
我会好好爱着她,
我会好好拥护她,
不让她伤心难过,
因为心里全是她.

My Feeling

back from Ipoh trip....
all the while, during the trip even we for many entertainment, but there still something in my heart. hardly to not let it go and i jus barely enjoy the trip. the worst thing is i knock my head on tree while im at waterfall, everything happen to fast where i did't notice the tree. its still hurt and pain till now.
we went for the movie Fast and Furious 4, quite nice movie with car and chick.....
and still im thinking of her....its like a memory in my mind, keep on appear no matter what i doing, first thing i will think of her....
kinda moody few time during the trip....
and i keep on getting feel something weird....
and this happen on me....i think
something happen and its really a hurt....even small matter, but is big to me.
thought of getting good starting, i think is impossible.
she feel insecure that im not beside her, coz im to far away,
i admit it, i know she feel hard too....

planned to back KL next week, actually is tomorrow,cause need to get some act book and visit the pc fair, but cant edi time wrong planned. anyway the most important is not both of that but is to meet her face to face and have a nice talk, due to wrong planning and i postpone to next week, now is become purposely back there cause i really cant handle anymore, i think its wrong and become worst.

i need to settle fast so i can calm down and concerntrate. she still unsure what answer she will gave me. and i jus worried that she cant give me a answer too even we meet. i can guess it edi, what will happen. its happen before and history started to roll over again.

having this blog typing with some tear fall out,
i dun really like that feel,
but i cant control....she ask me why i have so strong feel on her, actually how to answer this question i also cant really tell cause is jus the matter of feel.
to hate her i cant do it,
to not care her i cant do it,
to not concern on her i cant do it too....
maybe im really really into it until i cant pull back....

but after all is her choice to say yes or no and im the 1 that can only accept the answer....
i think i will back KL, and i will let her choose to see me or not, i think this is only the way i can know the answer. no matter is good or bad i still can accept it when is early. dun let me know at last cause i will get mad with it....i swear
and i will really hate that they try to give hope to people,
people will starting putting effort and think that will be a good hope,
at last the hope gone, make people sad and hurt the most. i don't want it to happen cause i hate it very much. but i guess it already happen on me if not mistaken and it happen now.

if you not sure then dun let people know they have hope, this won't hurt them cause they don't even know it right???
they won't put much effort into it, cause they know they dun have any chances, but if they know they will have chances sure they will put more effort.
they will only keep all in their heart and they cant even express it out to let the person know....
all the while they only can keep it for own even they sad and suffer....
cause they know no point telling out since they had no chance....
and im the person went through all this at the moment, when i accidently saw her photo my tear started to fall out again as its really the feel i cant control.
its really very hard to go through all this and i think of let go before, but i cant forget her....
someone ask me why would you spend all your time on her while there is more outside, i only can answer is i really love her. so everything is worth even time flowing away.
i think at last what i still will do is keep it all for myself....
so no 1 will get hurt and no 1 will suffer....only me know about it.

疯狂的我

有时人是需要一些疯狂,

有时疯狂只是一种让人掩饰自己的伤,

有时疯狂只是一种让人调节情绪的东西,

我要一些疯狂让自己没那么难受,

我要一些疯狂让自己更放肆,

我要一些疯狂来调解情绪,

我要一些疯狂来掩饰自己的伤,

不知为什么今天情绪起伏很大,

忽然间觉得自己情绪不稳定....

所以我就包含全部的因素即掩饰自己也调解情绪.....

我真需要疯狂.....啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!

特别的"她"

近日来心情真的好糟糕.....
虽然考试一切都已结束, 成绩也比以前进步多了, 但烦恼总是不断的出现.
然而,只有"她"我才会把我的一切一切告诉"她", 无论是好事或不好的我都会第一个让她知道.
也只有"她"会听我的喜怒哀乐, 也只有"她"我才会付出特别的感情.
由始至终,我对"她"从来没改变过, 虽然曾经想过要放弃, 但到头来我还是放不下.
当那天看到"她"的facebook时, 眼泪真不听话的流下, 真不知道为什么会这样, 觉得对"她"的思念有增无减. 想"她"但又无法告诉"她"的心情真的很难受!!!很难受!!!
那时我只能默默收在心里.....
当"她"问起我的时候, 真不知该讲与否....讲了, "她"会生气吗???我很担心"她"会不理睬我.
不讲, "她"一直追问我, 我只好把一切都告诉"她".....
其实我很害怕那个受伤感受又会重来....
真的会让人疯的感觉....
我不想再体会才会一直只收住给自己....
那样的伤害我实在无法承受得了....

但这次"她"居然说会给我不一样的答案, 但得看我的表现.....
我告诉"她"不要闹, 但是"她"是很认真的告诉我....
我知"她"是在暗示我....
无论如何, 最后的答案是好是坏我都会接受....
我对"她"是真心的....
我对"她"是认真的....
至少我又再尝试向"她"告诉我的心意....